Faith in times of Cancer.
Not to long ago we lost a deer sister to Lung cancer. Beth Chapman ( wife of Dog the bounty hunter ) she was only 51 years old. Each time we lose some one to this Monster it makes me go back over my own Journey with Cancer. I feel blessed because I am still on this earth but I also feel pain and hurt for the one who did not beat it.
A few years back another sister lost her battle with ovarian Cancer ( Joey Feek ) somthing both Rory and Dog now have in common both of them lost there beauitful wives at a young age to cancer. I do often wonder why some beat and win the battle yet others like Joey and Beth do not. It is somthing I most likey will never have the answer to.
When I first was diagnosed with Cancer of the womb I felt Fear. When your doctor tells you that you have Cancer your first thought is Am I going to die ? This is how the mind always works. the 2nd fear for me was What will my husband do if I do die from this ?
And my main thought was will I be able to have children ? I had lost all my babies due to miscarriage. I was 29 and wanted children I cried because I had a fear of never having children or giving my husband a child.
I also felt I had be go in to this being strong. not so much strong for my self but strong for my husband and family. I also felt if I was weak I would not be able to beat this.
The above graphic I made was of Joey, Beth and my self what do all 3 of us woman have in common ? We each had been told we had Cancer. But all three of us also had a strong Faith in God we all three trusted in God for our healing.
When I first found out I had cancer a Lady spoke to me she had told me that God would change my heart that I would have a heart for those who had cancer. That he would use me to be there for them to pray with and for them. That I would reach many woman.
She spoke the truth. Yes Beth and Joey both was famous woman they was known in the Public eye. But I did not once see that I never looked at them as being famous or in the public eye. I saw them Both as WOMAN as a HUMAN Both who was fighting a battle the same battle I my self had to fight and my heart went out to them I prayed for them for God’s Healing over them I keep up to date on them as much as I could.
When both of them lost there battle my heart was broken Yet both was strong in my eyes they both put up a good fight. Like me they both had a faith in Jesus. And maybe that is what drew me to them the fact they both had a strong Faith in Jesus. The fact both of them had such amazing Good hearts and a strong love for there family.
I have noticed since finding out I my self had cancer my heart has changed For all woman who are also facing Cancer of course my heart is with the men and boys who have cancer to but God has given me such a strong heart for woman and girls who have cancer.
I will never forget when I first found out I had cancer the Fear I had yet the strong Faith my husband had. He had such a strong faith I would beat this that God was going to heal me he was my rock he took such good care of me. When my Faith was weak My husbands was so strong. he was so sure that I would beat this.
Slowly my Faith became strong I knew I could either be strong in God and trust him with my life or I could get mad upset or angery with him and run far from my Faith.
Trust me I had thoughts go through my mind Like what have I done that was so bad that God allowed me to get cancer ? Why me ? You always here story’s of others who get Cancer but you never think You will be the one setting on the other end of the phone finding out you had cancer. It happens to other people right but you never think it would happen to you until it does.
It is in that very moment that you have to reach deep down inside of you and put your Life in Gods hands and also in the doctors hands it is no longer in your own hands.
No mater if you do everything to be healthy eat all the right food stay away from all of the bad foods listen to all the doctors you can still get Cancer.
Cancer does not discriminate It dont mater if you are young or old. If your healthy or your not. If your a old person or if your just a child. Cancer can hit any one at any moment. and No one will ever be ready when it does hit you.
I choose to put my Faith in God to trust he would heal me to trust he would get me to all the right doctors. I lived I beat cancer because GOD worked and moved in my own life.
You see I was seeing another OBYGN ( I wont name names ) but she made everything about trying to have a baby she only cared about the money when we stopped paying for fertility treatments because it was starting to be way to costly She stopped caring.
When we told her I was in a lot of pain in my ovary’s and my womb She didnt care she just said well you can not afford fertility treatments so I cant do nothing to help at this point. How ever she did end up doing a dye test it showed a tumor and at that point she again bought up the money and said nothing she could do she was going to just leave me like that she said it was not cancer anyways at that point.
I felt so alone in this I was mad at this woman. Somthing inside of me recalled the doctor who delivered both of my nephews So I gave him a call and he got me in right away I underwent more testing he had to untwist my tubes. I went on to have 2 more babies Both of them Rebekah and Gabriel who I lost. When I lost Gabriel I bleed out a lot. I had a tumor that smashed down on my son. at this point he also did not think it was cancer.
a year later I bleed out was rushed to the doctor and had 2 paints of blood transfusion He acted fast and did a D&C we of course went home after and 2 or 3 days gone by He called me up him self most doctors have the nurse call so I knew somthing was wrong when he him self called
He said Honey I got bad news but I do not want you to be worried I want you to come in to see me. Then he said we found a very big tumor and this Tumor inside of you is Cancer of the womb. You also have cyst all over the overys and inside of the womb.
Not only did my doctor care about me but when we got in to see him he got me in to the best obstetrician-gynecologist in the state of Iowa he wanted to be sure I was in Good hands he moved fast. After Major surgery my OBYGN came to the Hospital just to check up on me and make sure I was ok I can say that no doctor does that so I was very blessed to have this OBYN as my doctor. Sadly a few years ago He past away But I will never forget how God worked and moved and Got me to the right doctors at the right time.
I give God all of the credit for having me change OBYGN and having him get me in to the best doctor in the date of Iowa at that time. God worked in ways I could not have my self.
Once I had the full hysterectomy to remove the cancer even then we did not know how bad the cancer was or was not. We had to wait for the test to come back from Path. So while I set in the Hospital recovering I could feel the fear coming in to my mind what if it is worse then they thought ? will I need Chemo ? will my hair fall out will I have radiation treatment ? if so what type and for how long ? will I die ?
I was on the cancer floor for 4 days I came home but became weak and sick and ended up back in the Hospital another 3 days Any one who has cancer can tell you from the moment they say Cancer you feel like a Lab rat lots of test and blood test will be done before and after Surgery to remove cancer.
as we waited for the test to come back from my tumor I prayed to God I built my faith up I leaned on Him I wanted to Live I did not want to die I was 29 years old. I was still so young I had a lot of living to do.
Then came the day we had to go in to find out the news the test had came back. I was stage 1 but Grade B my tumor was a lot bigger then they thought he said it was the size of a Foot ball. Being stage 1 was Good but because of how big it was and the fact I was grade B I needed radiation Treatments.
When I asked him what my chances was it would come back if I did Not have the radiation He said it is a 50/50 chance it would come back he said How ever your at a much higher risk for the cancer to come back and that if it was him he would do the radiation Because then it was only a 10 to 20% chance of it to return and that is a lot better then 50% So of course I did the radiation Treatments I had the strongest dose of radiation that they could give a person I went home the same day of treatments But I was a little sick to the tummy on days I had my treatments.
After treatments I was told I was in Remission of my cancer I would go in every 3 months for the 1st year for test and CT scans after that I moved to every 6 months for the first 5 years and at 5 years out I was told I was now Cancer Free. I now only have to go every year for test.
Each time you walk in to the Cancer center there is still that worry in the back of your head what if it comes back and what if this time it will be far worse ? The I Remeber I need to put my faith in GOD I need to trust him it wont and I been healed.
I am in a group on face book with woman who have the same cancer I had one woman was 10 years out and cancer free but her cancer came back this time it was in the colon and it was stage 4 and sadly we lost her a year or so ago so Yes it always does play on ones mind.
One thing I can say is GOD has helped me to look at life in a new way Every sunset I see every Sunrise, A flower a newborn baby a bird. My husband or fur babies I thank GOD for LIFE I thank GOD that I got a 2nd chance to live every day I wake up is a new day a Gift from God.
As I write this I am about to see my Cancer doctor for my yearly test so of course it is on my mind again But I trust GOD that I will have Good news.
I dont understand why Beth or Joey or that woman in my group lost there live to there Battle Why they was in remission of cancer But it came back and when it came back it was much worse then before for Beth, Joey and that other woman It makes my heart hurt and it reminds me that we are not promised a tommrow.
It also reminds me that no mater how strong my faith in God my cancer could also come back. through I trust it wont. One thing I do know is I never blamed God for my cancer I may have Question why ? but I am a human we are all humans I never blamed him that Beth or Joey died But I did ask why ?
It is Not god who made us sick. I think when he saw Joey and he saw Beth or he saw that other woman he knew they was growing tried that the Cancer had now took over the Body and so He did Heal him not in the way you or me wished he had on earth But the moment they walked through Heavens gates they was healed.
I am sure that Heaven is such a Beauitful place one we all hope to make it to a place where there is no more pain no more hurt no more tears And if we are in Christ Jesus we will all make it there one day. I am sure Beth and Joey are healed I am sure that they are at peace though we on this earth hurt for there loss we are heart broken and those who have suffered with cancer hurt so much more because we cant understand why we made it but they did not. and we will never have those answers I am sure.
My heart is with the woman who are fighting I dont care if your in the public eye or not My heart goes out to each and every one of you woman I will stand with you in prayer and trust Jesus for your healing.
I pray One day we will find a cure for all cancer so that we never have to lose another one to this Monster so that another person dont have to fight and battle this cancer.
If you find your self at the end of the phone call like I did finding out you have Cancer I am sure you are going to go through a lot of those same thoughts I did and feelings. Mad Anger scared and being in fear. But please know you are not alone a lot of us have been there and a lot of us will pray for you.
I Encourage you to reach out to groups for the same type of cancer you have there is also message boards on American cancer society That can help as it helped me. It helps to talk to others who have been there they will help you in your battle and fight. Please reach out do not think you have got to go through this scary time in your life alone.
also I encourage you to put all your faith in Gods hands Even if you feel weak like you are running low of Faith just Cry out to God tell him all of your worries all of your fears Tell him how upset you are talk to God like he is your Friend and lean on God because it is FAITH and GOD that is going to help you get through this time it is God who loves you so much and it is him who will never leave you he is by your side always even in the hardest time of your life.
Please reach out to me if you need a friend to be there to pray with you. Because I will be there for you your not alone at all.
My prayer for you today
Dear heavenly Father I ask for you to be with all those who find them selfs battling this Monster we call cancer Lord you know them you know there hearts you know how hard it is to battle this you know all of our worries and our fears. Lord I ask for you to bring people in to there life who will be of a grate Support to them to help them through this time. I ask for you lord to guide them all to the right doctors who will work fast to help them. I ask you father to trust in you to put there Faith in you. I ask you to Most of all Heal there bodies from this Cancer Lord for you to give them a 2nd chance at Life like you did me. I ask for you to use them and there cancer story to help others who also are facing cancer.
And father I ask for you to be there for families who have lost there loved one to this monster for you to bring comfort and peace to them I ask Father for a CURE for all cancer We out our lives in your hands. Thank you for loving us for warping us up in your arms for never leaving us and staying beside us as we fight the battle.
In Jesus name we pray AMEN.
May God bless and be with each of you